Last Game - Regular Season League Play

And we won! Yippee! It was our very first win of the entire season! Yes, we tied a few - and a few games were scoreless, but this was our first actual win - and the kids were noticeably pumped with their victory! It was especially nice for J (who made a few nice plays when he wasn't gnawing on his glove) because we'd completed his entire soccer season without one win. So, one win in ten months (of soccer/baseball) - pretty impressive, eh? And yes, we still cheered the other team on, and clapped when they made a good play! Good game boys! And keep up the good work for our weekend tournament!!!

Doc (my co-season ticket holder) & J

Pedal to the Metal

Well, I think I'm obviously STILL being tested on this patience thing..... I am actually gritting my teeth whilst plunking out these words on the keyboard. For the second time in two months, my car has completely broken down on me. Ironically, it was booked for servicing tomorrow - as it already required two new CV boots and a front wheel bearing - whatever those may be. My diagnosis was "loud" and "crunching noises", if that helps. At any rate, today as we're off to the sport of the day, my clutch decides to fail. Pedal to the metal and stuck there. For good. Permanently depressed. Maybe it's just a broken cable suggested one of the many good Samaritans who stopped to offer assistance as we were stranded and blocking traffic on a merge lane to the Haney by-pass during, you guessed it, rush hour. At any rate, I called BCAA and was given an estimated one hour wait. Being the patient person I now am, I was fine with this - I was just concerned about the likelihood of a smashed vehicle at that intersection, or worse, my child deciding to dart out into the action.

Lo and behold, my very first Good Samaritan was none other than B.P. (a.k.a. J's soccer coach) and the dad he barfed on last Friday night in the swimming pool! Now I'm pretty sure B is quite tired of rescuing J and I - but he and another very good Samaritan were able to push my car back out of the traffic so that all the cars could get by. In the meantime, my parents were called and they came to pick up all the baseball gear, sparring gear, fold-up chairs, dog food, booster seats, and J out of my vehicle, trunk and sidewalk - even though J whined about having to leave with them (he desperately wanted to ride in the tow truck). But in that hour, over half of the people who drove down the side street I was on, asked me if they could help, or if I needed help. It was very heartwarming and I can't say how much I appreciated the unexpected kindness. Only one woman yelled at me that I was in her way (sorry!), but BP just directed her around us, no problemo! I think she initially thought I'd just stopped my car to chat with these young, muscled, bucks. Anyway, even the tow truck driver was amazed when I relayed how many people actually stopped to offer assistance - he had pulled up as one young Samaritan was just leaving. This kid had apologized profusely that he couldn't help me - he said he just forgot his tools at home - and had even offered to go home to get them! I told him how much I appreciated his offer but that the tow truck was already en route anyway. I actually think he might have actually gone home to get his tools had he not seen the tow truck himself!

Anyway, we missed our sport of the day and thanks to everybody who helped us, we're all safe and sound -- and the car is obviously where it belongs. But, I am gritting my teeth because I am literally dreading what these repairs are going to set us back again this time....

Patience is a Virtue (I'm workin on)

I have never been the most patient person in the world. Especially when I perceive that something "should be" going/moving a heck of a lot quicker. But I'm really trying to accept the fact that some things in life will not always be "in my timing". And, I believe this was a weekend designed specifically to test me on this....

1. When driving to Coquitlam to pick up my sick son I was behind a convoy of several slow moving farm vehicles on the back roads (I prefer not to pass unless they move over - and, in this case I was a dozen or so vehicles behind them anyway). Then I hit a minor bottle-neck at the Pitt River bridge (a very long two-light wait) - and of course almost every red light from thereon in.


2. I also got a major flat tire (totally my fault). I pulled up just a tad too close to the gas-bar island at the filling station and it turns out that I'd ripped the little nozzle doohicky right off at the base. I was thinking on the bright side that I was less that 30 feet away from the "free air", only to discover after driving that distance on my rim (don't tell my husband), that although I could pump that baby right back up with all that free compressed air, it was just pfffsssssssssssssssssssssssssssttt again and completely flat in just mere seconds!


3. I registered my son for minor hockey - a nearly 'two hour' process of standing in an extremely long line-up after consuming 3 cups of coffee (and having to pee really badly but holding both it - and my spot - in the ridiculous line-up).

So, lots of little glitches and unexpected waits. But, believe it or not, this time I did not get mad or frustrated at all - I just tried to make the best of each situation and counted my blessings that I was not really going to be horribly late for anything (and that I did not get the flat tire on a road trip out of town)! The farmer did turn off the road and into his driveway fairly quickly anyway (and had I arrived earlier at the pool for my son, he would have still been in the changeroom getting sick all over P), my dad came up and helped me with the flat tire short notice (and Kal-Tire did not charge me a cent to repair it!), and I have the satisfaction knowing that my son is finally registered for the sport he has been dying to play for the past year (and my bladder did not, in fact, actually burst).

Now I am really trying to always look at the positive in each situation. My Uncle C - who was a great motivational speaker who spoke all over North America for A.A. - had told me as a child that we should always look on the bright side of situations and that being angry only hurts ourselves. For some reason, up until just a short while ago, I had chose to ignore his advice for the most part. But today I even offered to trade my spot in the line-up to a woman who was several people behind me who was going to be late for her son's ball hockey game - and I know how much I would have appreciated it if someone did that for me if I was running late! I kept reminding myself, it's all just a matter of perspective and how it could have been a heck of a lot worse. What if I didn't have close family and friends to help me out? My mother was happy to watch J while I registered him for hockey and my dad was available to help me fix the flat tire right away! And our friends B and P - who took such good care of my puking kid for me - who called me to see how he was doing when we got home (and again the next day). I just know I can no longer choose to ignore these very obvious blessings or let myself be horribly angry and frustrated when these everyday obstacles in life continue to crop up!

P.S. Today is the 10 year anniversary of my friend Chariss Acosta's passing. In some ways I cannot believe it has been that long - and I can still hear her voice, her laughter. We miss you Chariss!

The Poet

Trees

I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree

A tree whose hungry mouth is prest
Against the sweet earth's flowing breast;

A tree that looks at God all day,
And lifts her leafy arms to pray;

A tree that may in summer wear
A nest of robins in her hair;

Upon whose bosom snow has lain;
Who intimately lives with rain.

Poems are made by fools like me,
But only God can make a tree.

By Joyce Kilmer. [Joyce Kilmer 1886-1918 was killed in action during World War I. Kilmer was both a soldier and a poet, but he is almost always remembered for his poetry about common, yet beautiful, things in nature].

Ever since my son was a baby, My father, "Doc" has recited poety to him. They'd go for long walks and my dad would recite his poetry, while my son absorbed every word. We later realized that J, at a very young age, had actually memorized many of these poems himself! If ever Doc ever 'tripped up', J would quickly correct him. Since Christmas, J has been able to recite most of the entire Robert Service poem "The Cremation of Sam McGee" from memory. It's a very very long poem.... Some of my friends have commented that it's pretty impressive for a seven year old - but I've reminded them that since Doc has been reciting poetry to him almost on a daily basis for 7 + years, it's just kind of etched into him now. Anyway, I think it's just wonderful to see how much my parents are enjoying and spending so much quality time with their two long-awaited grandchildren! We all (including J and M), certainly appreciate it so much!

Mother's Day

My M-O-T-H-E-R

"M" is for my Mom - & the memories we've shared over the years
"O" is for her Open door - she's always been there for us
"T" is for the Three daughters that she raised (and trained!)
"H" is for how Hectic it usually was when we were growing up (& often still is!)
"E" is for her Elegance - my mom is and always will be, a beautiful woman
"R" is for Remarkable and Rare - my mom has always been an amazing hostess and cook - and warmly welcomes all who enter her beautiful, yet casual, home.

A month or so ago, my friend RM asked my son when Mother's Day was. J just shrugged and said he wasn't sure. R told him that everyday is mother's day - and that everyday he should make his mom feel appreciated and special! That would be nice, I thought - but do I do that often enough for my own mother? My mom who is always there for us - and her grandchildren?

Most of the time my son does make me feel incredibly loved! I can certainly feel his affection - and he still openly and freely expresses it. And, not a day goes by that I do not feel so incredibly blessed that I am now finally a mom (even though rarely a day goes by where I don't feel totally exhausted from parenting and trying to work, commute, run errands, attend nightly activities, cook meals, make lunches, do laundry, and meet everyone's needs - at work and at home). But being this child's mother makes it worth every second!

My husband and I were married on Mother's Day 12 years ago tomorrow. We wanted to keep it a surprise for our parents so we'd invited both families over for a Mother's Day brunch. When they arrived, we told them that we were going to get married (a few mentioned that it was about time!). My dad then asked me when this wedding was going to take place - and R said "in about 10 minutes!" - and that we were just waiting for the minister to arrive. At that point I think my mom panicked and told me she was running home to change -- "I can't wear cotton to a wedding!" she'd exclaimed. Ran home she did, and when she returned, we were married that afternoon in the backyard.

But Mother's Day wasn't always easy for me - especially when it fell just after I'd miscarried - or when I was pregnant with J but experiencing some problems. Wondering if I'd ever have a little person call me "Mommy". But in the year 2000, at the age of 40, I finally celebrated my first Mother's Day with a healthy and beautiful baby boy.

I can't begin to tell anyone how much joy he has brought us - and how much our lives have changed with him in it. On the wall next to our computer is our wedding picture - even at 35 we looked so young and naive! Did parenthood create the onset of balding, bulging, and graying?

Being an older mom isn't without it's challenges. I've been asked by more than one person if I was the child's grandmother.... I cannot wear some of the trendy clothes these young moms are sporting without looking utterly ridiculous. I remember attending a children's event in Vancouver and I was the only mom without a tattoo, or nose or belly button ring! All of my long time friends have older children - young adults or teens. Tonight I found out that LB (my co-worker who is actually 3 months younger than myself) is going to be a grandmother later this year! These days I'm finding that many of my new friends - who have kids my child's age - are at least 10 to 15 years younger than me. Do I fit in? Most of the time, yes, for the most part. I have always had many friends who are older and younger than myself anyway. But it's funny when I look at all the younger moms though - there was no way I was ready to be a parent when I was their age -- or at least a good one. I was still figuring out a lot of things about myself and it's really only now (in my late 30's and 40's) that I've actually accepted who I am. I’m old enough to know that it is better to be older and possess wisdom, confidence and gray hair, than to be young, carefree, and making stupid choices - no matter how much better or younger I may have looked (or felt) back then. Knowing how I was at some of their ages, it really amazes me to see how some of these young moms just seem to have it all together - and so soon! To be truthful, I'm even a tad jealous in that they will likely live to see their future generations and watch them grow up. It also saddens me that my own parents and R's parents may not always be here continuing to be such an important part of our children's lives.

It was a very happy mother's day for me. I watched another exciting baseball game (although we lost to C's team), and I even had a few hours to myself while J went to see a movie with one of his buddy's family. Tonight we went out for an awesome chicken dinner at my mother's. But tonight I feel sadness too - knowing that some of my friends are having a very difficult time today. Three friends have recently lost their mothers since the last mother's day - including D whose young mom just passed away this month. Other friends are going through tough family times and no longer have close relationships with their kids. Another friend lost his wife two years ago when his children were only aged 5, and 10 months old. And I recognize the pain all my friends who have been unable to have children - or who have lost children - feel. Even to this day, I still do not like "parents of toddlers or young children" gatherings where they discuss childbirth, baby wipes, and potty training. And I will never ask a woman if she's going to start a family - or have another baby. Even though I'm a mother today, the hurt and raw emotions can still creep up and take over.

Today we celebrate Mother's day - and take this as an opportunity to honor our moms and the qualities and personalities they have -- or had, and how they've influenced and impacted us to be who we are today. I am thankful for both my mother and my mother-in-law - who both have always been there and have never hesitated to help us when we needed it. And I can only hope and pray my own son will choose have the same relationship with us as we have had with our parents when he grows older too! Happy Mother's Day "Nona" and "Grandma"!

I wish all of you a very happy Mother's Day! L

A Tribute to a Friend

"On April 19th, 2007, this world lost a most beautiful, wonderful man. I myself feel as though I've lost my favorite Uncle.

I met Mr. Erik Madsen almost 30 years ago in 1977 – shortly after I met my good friend Susan, his eldest daughter, at S.F.U. While my friendship with Susan quickly grew, so did my relationship with her family. I’ll never forget how touched I was when I first met him – how he had such a playfully impish smile, a hearty laugh, and a marvelous twinkle in his eyes. He was deeply in love with his family and welcomed me as if I was almost one of them – and maybe I actually could have been had I not failed so miserably on the pickled herring test at one of those famous family Danish dinners!

I have numerous fond memories of those many Whistler nights where I even had my “own” bed. I remember how on one occasion we had been stranded up there for days when the bridge and highway washed away. And how I wished they'd taken even just a few more days to fix it. How, during this time, we’d concocted special drinks and played games by the hour -- especially Charades and Clue. I still remember how Mr Madsen always chose the red man (or “Crimson” – as he referred to it!). Those are some of my best memories!

Susan’s dad was always famous for giving us pet names – I was referred to as "Haney" first - and then "Kansas City" – and well, that one just kind of stuck. He was an extremely generous man – and to me – the trip to Maui -- where I remember opening the fridge to find it fully stocked with some of my most favorite things! And I remember that on special birthdays, how Mr. and Mrs. Madsen had sent me such beautiful bouquets of flowers. But mostly it was his gift of laughter, his love for his family and friends, his warmth, his sense of humor, and his unique understanding and "twists" on things that made me grow to love him too.

I was fortunate to see Susan’s dad a few times over the past few months while he was in the hospital – and what really struck me, was how much he still just lit up when I saw him. He still had that same twinkle in his eye – and, although he could no longer speak, he still managed to successfully razz Susan, Karen and I! He was always just so full of beans!

Today we are here to celebrate Erik Madsen’s life – and I am so blessed to have been a part of it. I also know how much he impacted all of our lives - his friends and his family - and how much love and respect Susan has always had for her dad. And while he will be so deeply missed by so many of us, he will always live in our hearts. I can still see his eyes – twinkling and winking at us! Skal!"

(this was my speech - which may have varied slightly while I was up there)

The memorial for Erik Madsen was held today - it was a beautiful (and packed) service flooded with many many affectionate, humorous stories and anecdotes about Erik -- about how loving, kind, fun, magnetic, and loyal he always was. His eldest daughter Susan is one of my closest friends - we have shared so many things over the years. While we are different in many ways (ie: she is an extremely talented artist), we have many things in common too. We're both "abbreviated" with respect to our stature (under 5'2), we both had skipped a grade in school, we both love to travel and read (although she's far surpassed me in her many exotic travel adventures and book reading by now), and we both have the greatest Dads who have played very important roles in our lives!

Her dad's beautifully written obituary reads:

MADSEN _ Erik, born October 9, 1926. Passed away peacefully at home on April 19, 2007 with his family at his side. Erik will be deeply missed by his wife Kirsten, children Susan (Stephen), Peter (Jennifer), Karen (Randy) and grandchildren Kaleena, Erik, Sabrina and Nicholas. He is survived by his sister Inge (Kurt) and brother Poul (Inger). Erik was born in Copenhagen Denmark and grew up in a small town on the Danish island of Fyn. His family was in the lumber business in Denmark and he had dreams of pursuing this profession in Canada. Erik and the love of his life Kirsten married in 1952 and immigrated to Canada shortly afterwards, arriving in BC with $12.50 in their pockets. Erik worked a variety of jobs before beginning his own lumber re-manufacturing business in 1965, which has continued to flourish over the years. He will be remembered as a respected boss, and a smart and fair businessman with a remarkable talent for numbers. Erik and Kirsten found paradise on the island of Maui where they spent much of their time. In between Erik worked on his elaborate model train set-up. He loved golfing, skiing, watching any sport on TV, parties, a good laugh and a good scotch. Erik was a big-hearted, generous person with an abundant passion for life. He "came in with his wooden shoes on" - there was no phoniness about him. And "you betcha" he will be greatly missed and mourned by his family and friends. Special thanks to Dr. Mukheibir and the home care nurses. The family wishes to extend an invitation to all who knew Erik to join in a Celebration of Life and a "Skal" to him at Hazelmere Golf Club, 18150 8th Ave., Surrey on Wednesday, May 9 at 12 noon. It was an afternoon full of laughter, tears, and sharing - a wonderful goodbye party for a great and loved man who remains forever in our hearts!