Hockey Mom?

I guess I am almost now an official "Hockey Mom". I thought I should probably make mention of the fact well in advance that I was not really aspiring to ever be a "Hockey Mom"! You see, I was quite content being a "Soccer Mom" and a "Baseball Mom" and a "Working Mom". But the "Hockey Mom" just conjures up a whole new image. Which is an image I have never wanted to be seen as. Oh, I've toyed around with various images in my life - there were times when I portrayed (or hoped to portray) the image of the typical "campus student" (complete with toga). There was the daytime image of Florence Nightingale (yes, in my dental assistant duds). Then there was the image of the golfer (a complete lie, really) as I handed out my golfing advice and tips on weekends at the golf courses where I also worked. Oh, there are other images which were relatively short-lived (thank Heavens!) too. But Hockey Mom was never one of the ones I'd planned on.........

Naturally, I should have seen the writing on the wall. Aside from the fact I am related to a famous person on "Hockey Night in Canada" (Ron MacLean is my second cousin), I am not really from a die-hard "hockey" family. My dad certainly enjoyed watching hockey - if it wasn't conflicting with a basketball or baseball game on t.v., that is. And, as a teen, I loved going to both the WHL (remember the WHA Vancouver Blazers?) and my friends' games. Then I married R - who is from a real die-hard hockey family. R played hockey, his dad played hockey, his sister played hockey, his mom was on the minor hockey board, and on it goes. R has taken only a temporary break from hockey due to work and the house, but up until a year ago, he still played on a fairly regular basis. And, his dad also played regularly while they were still living in the lower mainland. They are NHL fanatics - growing up in a house where the game was always on. And, when I started dating R, he and his roommates had built BLEACHERS in their living room for hockey viewing purposes! You see, my husband LOVES hockey - and J, his "mini-me" was bound to follow suit...

So, over this past year it has become more apparent that J has definitely become more and more interested in the sport. By October he really wanted to play hockey - and we registered him for a fun hockey program on Wednesday nights all season (minor hockey registration was closed). And yes he was keen - much keener that he was on the soccer field dripping with rain. To top this off, his teacher's son plays for the Memorial Cup winning Vancouver Giants - so we went fairly often to see those exciting games. You see, I like hockey a lot too - I just haven't been particularly warm and fuzzy over some of the parents I've witnessed in the stands.

For the 3 years I have been a "Soccer Mom", I have never experienced (or seen) any cat fights out on the Soccer sidelines! Registration for soccer includes a parental contract - where we sign a form promising to keep the game friendly and fun for the kids - but I didn't see any such animal (ie parental form) during hockey registration. Heck, we were drinking coffee with (and clapping for) our opponents in soccer. The same goes for baseball. We know the other team's kids and we cheer each other on! That makes it fun! It is my observation that Minor hockey just seems so much more competitive, confrontational (and rough!). I know that I personally will have no comfort in a sea of aggressive fans who take the game far too seriously - yelling obscenities at the refs, coaches, team-mates, opponents, and their OWN kids. This is speaking from experience, I worked within several municipal arenas for over 20 years and I witnessed this almost every time I worked there. I remember rolling my eyes and telling my co-workers "did you hear that? I will never let any kid of mine play this sport!". It wasn't necessarily the game, it was the mentality of these parents living vicariously through their kids - envisioning them to be the next great NHL legend and fighting their kids' perceived obstacles all the way!

lm

At any rate, I am now officially signed on as a full-fledged hockey mom - happy our child is doing the sport he is so crazy about, but actually very very nervous about joining ranks with these very "intense" groups of hockey parents!

To Everything there is a Season

Unfortunately, it appears that a significant number of my fridge and freezer contents have already had theirs....
This morning I decided that my next "project" would be to tackle the fridge and the freezer. Surely, we do not want to take the 3 year old ice-crystalized (and now dehydrated) chickens and salmons with us in the move. But why is it so difficult for me to toss this stuff out? Is it that I feel so incredibly guilty about wasting things? How many times have I made extra casseroles, just to rediscover them years later at the bottom of the freezer -- no longer fit for human consumption? And who designed these "deep chest" bottomless pit freezers anyway? My mother has an upright freezer and I can certainly see the benefits of that design!

Speaking of fridges and mothers..... My mother recently purchased a new stainless steel refigerator with many "whistles and bells". It's a real beauty and I've been thinking how nice something similar would look in our new farmhouse. But I'm having some huge reservations about making this decision. Our existing fridge has become our household's "Command Central", where we post notes, information, artwork, event tickets, baseball schedules, etc. I know that Martha Stewart would not approve of this look (tsk tsk), but I think it has far more personality and character than any stainless steel statue that must be wiped down for fingerprints every hour. My mother used to post our kid's artwork on her fridge, and now it is completely bare - devoid of any "I love you" notes and brightly coloured rainbows. She is always complaining about it too - and I think she wishes she had opted for the tradional white or black old faithful.

Anyway, I would be curious to see if anyone else has any thoughts on this issue. I'm thinking that for our casual tastes and lifestyle, we might just do better with a magnet-friendly, fingerprint-friendly fridge!

The Difference of a Decade

Today I ran across an old photo of my friend Susan and I together in Las Vegas back in May of 1987. I think we'd actually been to see Tom Jones (or Engelbert) that night and someone had taken our picture in the show theatre. As I looked at it, part of me couldn't believe that was twenty years ago already! What happened? At that time I was going through a divorce (a marriage which lasted only 4 years) and she and I just felt it would be a good time to get away and celebrate what was then, our ten-year friendship.

The "seven" years have always been significant to me. In 1967, Canada's Centennial year, myself and five other grade 1 classmates were placed into grade 3 - we had been part of an accelerated program and had finished two grades in one year. I remember how proud my parents were (although I'm not sure it's the wisest move for kids socially - always being the youngest and smallest). Today, one of my old friends from this group actually contacted me through Facebook!

Ten years later (in 1977), at the age of 17, I graduated from high school, had an amazing summer road trip through the States with my old friend Tina (whom I've recently reconnected with), and then started University in September. After a one month commute, I was accepted into residence at SFU and I had lived away from home from that point on.

In 1987 my first marriage was terminated - and, on the night Susan and I were out for nachos and looking through our Vegas photos - I was first introduced to R (this husband - the keeper!) by a friend of mine. We went on our first date later that year and dated for several months - but we decided to call it off in early 1988 as he was travelling to Asia, I was heading to Europe, and I really just needed some time on my own (we did get back together obviously, but not until 1990). So, we actually started dating (the first time!) 20 years ago!

Ten years later, in 1997, R and I had been married for two years and decided to sell our first little house. I actually gave up drinking completely that year (it's been 10 years now) and also found out we were expecting. We lost the baby, but it was a year of other losses too. In June of 1997 I lost my young friend (and co-worker) Chariss in a tragic motor vehicle accident on her way home from work - after we had worked - and shared many laughs - that day.

That was ten years ago already. Today we have a healthy son and are finally building the home we have been dreaming about. I will be attending my 30 year high school reunion this summer and am looking forward to seeing some old friends - many of whom I am still in touch with. I have changed a lot these past ten years, but I'm still the same in many ways. I still have most of my same great friends. I've seen my neice and nephew grow up so fast - and my nephew actually graduates this year! These past ten years have seen me develop new friendships through my family, my son, my extended family, my work, and through my church. My outlook on life has changed so much and my faith has also deepened. This year has also put me in contact with several people I had lost touch with along the way - but it's always so great to reconnect! I see I have been rather reminiscent and reflective lately - but I really can't believe how much life can dramatically change in just a mere decade!

Mental Health Day!

Every once in a while I decide to book a day off right smack in the middle of the week. Today was such a day! After I took J to school, I ran some errands, did some house project phone calls, paid some bills, cleaned out my bedroom closet, did 3 loads of laundry and took the dogs for a long walk (it was such a beautiful, hot, sunny day!). After school J and I headed into Vancouver (skipping baseball practice) to meet up with my good friend LK and her son JJ (who J just adores). They'd flown into town from the interior for a few appointments. We picked them up and headed down to Stamps Landing in False Creek for dinner on the Monk McQueen's patio. What a beautiful spot - we all loved watching all the sailboats and kayaks in the harbour - with the snow covered mountains behind them. Our visit with my longest childhood friend and her son was great! L & I actually can't believe we'll be attending our 30 year high school reunion this summer - do we really look it? I'd like to think not, but our kids both say "yeah, you're old".... After dinner, we headed to my sister's house to have a quick visit there - she wasn't home but my parents were - so J played with his younger cousin for a bit. Then we drove down to "de la Casa" ice cream parlour on Venables - they have the absolute widest selection of ice cream, sherbets, gelatos you have ever seen! They have this nifty system where you pay first, and then they give you these coloured tokens (not unlike a Vegas chip) which tells the "scooper" how many scoops you're entitled to - and what type of cone (yes, quite an assortment). I had licorice ice cream! It's my favorite and it's so hard to find anymore. L commented that the times have sure changed - we used to know where all the great "watering holes" and night-life haunts were in Vancouver, now we just know where to find the good ice cream! Anyway, we all had fun and certainly enjoyed the spectacular Vancouver evening!

A Reason to Celebrate

Today was a day of Celebrations!
1) Today our church celebrated 7 decades of its Ministry - it first opened its doors in the pictured building seventy years ago (1937). We had a great party today - lots of memories from over the years - several long-time members reminisced about the many changes - and one of the original founding members got up and spoke to us about the beginning years. It was a fun celebration through time - they began by playing some old hymns and transitioned us through music, pictures and stories to what we have today (a band with drums, guitars, keyboards). We no longer have pews or hymnbooks - we have comfy chairs, great music, powerpoint, etc. Not to mention the best leaders (I'm not biased!) - who share a very accepting open door/community approach. Due to its rapid growth, a new building was built in 1990 at its present location. The theme Pastor D spoke of this morning was, although the message remains unchanged, the way we reach others has - just as our world/culture continues to change. The celebration was great, lots of laughter and reflection - even we have seen some big changes (ie: the building addition in 2004) in the few years we have been attending.

CP Photo/Richard Lam

2) The Vancouver Giants won the Memorial Cup this afternoon in a 3-1 win over the Medicine Hat Tigers. Our family - especially J - has been rooting for this team all year! And, we were able to see several games (unfortunately, not this exciting one though). Way to go Giants!

If you Want to Soar with Eagles during the day...

You Can't Hoot with Owls at Night.....
part of our Fan Club!
I am not, by nature, a "night owl" (not until I got into this blogging thing, that is).... So tonight I've imposed a time limit on the computer. Here, in a nutshell, is a quick summary of the day:
-It's a beautiful, sunny, warm, day!
-Both my friend MP and I thought it was "hot lunch day" and sent J & A to school without any food!
-Had a decent commute and productive day at work
-Another night at the ball park. The whole fan club was there including myself (the photographer), Doc, R, Auntie B and JH (pictured). Not only was it a great game, it was hot and sunny 'July' weather - in May!
-J is very excited about school tomorrow (yes, he'll have a lunch). His teacher has turned their classroom into a grocery store! According to J, these grade 2's are going to learn how to SPEND money, how to save up, make shopping decisions, develop a budget (sounds like my work), take out a loan, pay lots of interest (sounds like my life). There's a bank, a catalogue and a cash register. He's very excited about this very real mock economy - and I'm just thrilled his teacher is so keen and willing to involve the kids in these interactive, fun, learning experiences!

Freedom 85

"The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win it, you're still a rat."

The problem with having a nice long weekend usually lies in my lack of ability to successfully shift gears and get into the "back to work" mode fully by Tuesday. This is problematic because, after any weekend -- and especially a LONG weekend -- the first day back is always filled with catching up, cleaning up, looking up, and fixing up a heck of a lot of "stuff" that has accumulated and/or was missed over my days off. My in-tray will usually be taller than the Space Needle - and I'll have 40 unopened e-mails and 20 phone calls to return. Because I KNOW it will be like this (and actually dread going in) - today I finally got smart and was intentional in that I did not plan to accomplish anything! Lowered my expectations, you might say. I have tried to do it "all" before - but I and everyone else in my division knows I personally don't do all that well being pulled in twenty different directions at once. My boss must have even come to this realization about me as even he gave me the space I needed today. Anyway, my plan worked! I was not in panic mode. I was not cussing. I was not stressed out. I just steadily and methodically went through all of my emails, returned all of my phone calls, and tackled my in-tray -- dealing with each thing, one item at a time. And, I feel like I actually got a lot done!

Having said that, you are probably thinking that it's about time I learned how to effectively manage a "return to work" day. After all, I've been in the work force for many a year. But this was a big hurdle for me. Before having a child I was a workaholic - holding down usually 2 or 3 jobs at a time. I actually loved to work! Naturally, my priorities took an abrupt shift when J was born. I retired from my full-time job in my dad's business (and he retired with me), and I went down to the one job that I'd had on part-time basis since 1977. I still like working - and, for the most part, still love my job.

My husband R also has a job he really enjoys. He is also a very hard worker and I have a lot of respect for him -- and his work ethic. Man, the guy is working eight 12-hour days straight and then comes home to work around the clock on our new house. I do most of the "domestic" inside jobs (not so much his thing) but he's always outside building or fixing something. If not for us, he's usually booked to help the extended family and friends. Looking on the bright side, it is a good thing we both enjoy our jobs and are capable of working. I'm sure the mountain-high stack of bills (excavation company, engineers, designers, lumber yard, window/gutter/door/ manufacturers, roofer and other trades we've hired) is a pretty good indication of the fact that we are going to be at this "work" thing for a long, long time.

Anyway, I'm quite happy I've finally come to terms with the "return to work" day -- and it will be so much better for everyone in the future (family, friends, co-workers, general public, and boss) as I merrily sing (in my fine monotone voice) "Hi Ho, Hi Ho, it's off to work I go".

The Scream

Today, being the Victoria Day "holiday", we had made plans with my youngest sister and her daughter to come out for a visit - and then later we'd planned to all have a family dinner next door at my parents. J was very excited about seeing his cousin M - and we actually turned down another "invite" which also would have been a lot of fun (note to self - check JH's blog to see what we missed). Unfortunately, poor little M became sick as soon as they arrived. So, after she'd changed her clothes, back home they went. J was very disappointed.

We decided to do our own little "dike patrol" and took the dogs out for a long walk. The North Alouette river is still very low. Although J was bummed about M being sick, we still had a good time. That was until we returned and I happened to accidentally SLAM a door shut on his little thumb. The SCREAMMMMMM was almost deafening! And his poor little thumb was purple, pulsating (and no longer little!). I felt just terrible. The sobbing "Mommy, you really hurt me" didn't help. Now I was sick too - although he did eventually and abruptly stop the crying/screaming when I told him we'd probably need to go have it amputated.... Let me digress a moment here. I'm now thinking that my mother has told him about the time when I, at the young age of 6, had accidentally cut off my friend's middle finger. *STOP HERE IF YOU GET THE LEAST BIT QUEEZY (this is a true story). I still have nightmares about it.... My friend Fran and I had been merrily washing our new bikes and had turned them upside down to dry them (remember banana seats???). We were spinning the pedals as fast as we could to watch the water spin off. I still don't know how, but somehow her middle finger got caught in the chain, while I was still spinning those pedals as fast as I could. It was horrible - and it happened so fast. Her scream was worse than J's today - and so was mine. She was rushed to the hospital where it was re-attached while I had run home to hide under my bed (cowardly, I know). She had to undergo a lot of therapy over months and months to be able to move it. She eventually did, but there was a lot of nerve damage and she had little feeling in it after that. I remember helping her to print in Grade 1 when she was all bandaged up. To this day I still feel sick about it.

Anyway, with some ice (and ice cream) J did recover -- although his nail is still black. He even felt well enough to ask me to take him out for a bike ride. So out to the dikes we went again. He must have gained some trust back because he told me I was to ride on his right side to protect him from the bears (according to him, they must live on the right side of the dike). I did point out that the past few sightings/encounters with the bears had actually been on the "left" side. He proposed that I was to quickly change sides with him in the event of a bear sighting (on the left). I am somewhat relieved that he still has faith in my ability to protect him, even if I almost severed one of his appendages a few hours earlier. All in all it was a good day, and we later enjoyed a great curry dinner at my parents with J's Auntie K (my middle sister) from Chilliwack and her 2 dogs. P.S. No further emergency preparations accomplished today - feeling rather optimistic with the 2 week extension on the "possibility of floods" predictions.

Flooding Fears

Forms and information packages regarding emergency flood preparations have arrived in our mailbox. Although we are not in the "pink" area previously affected by the great flood of 1948, we are in what is considered the "flood plain" - protected by a diking system. The Ministry of Enviroment, the District, and the RCMP have asked that we develop an Emergency Evacuation Plan in the event that the water levels rise to a dangerous level. Evacuation Orders are issued once the Mission Gauge readings reach approximately 6.8 meters (today they are 3.6). We have lived in this area (between the Pitt and Alouette Rivers) since 1969 and have not yet had a problem with flooding - even though our main access road is often under water during periods of heavy rain. Other low-lying areas in our municipality could be hit hard, even if we aren't.

Apparently the Army has now been brought in to assist with emergency flood relief, if this is the case. Every home will be allotted 30 Sand Bags (don't quote me on this - I overheard it somewhere). We have been asked to stock up on candles, water, and canned goods and make plans for alternative living arrangements. I've booked our cat at one of my friend's homes - she's taken great care of her when we've gone away before. I was liberally telling everyone that we'd probably end up bunking at my sister-in-law's house - then thought I'd better let her in on that tidbit of information too! So, I called her today and she warmly and generously extended her hospitality, if needed. As usual, my sister-in-law B has always been there for us! The challenge, of course, will be in finding a place for our two big dogs.

At any rate, some people are approaching a state of panic, while others (such as myself) are hanging on to the belief that we will be okay. Perhaps I am in a state of denial, but I've learned that fretting and worrying has never really helped me or the situation at hand (I used to be just an incredible "Worry Wart" but I will get into that at another time). Tomorrow I will box up our photos and keepsakes and prepare to move them to Auntie B's. Then I will do a big shopping trip for canned goods and other items on my "check-list". Others who are obviously more organized than myself have already started this - there was no canned dog food left at our grocery store! At any rate, we can pray that the weather takes a dramatic cooling turn for a bit, in order to stop the heavy deposits of mountain snow from melting all at once!

Scars on Ice

Although I neglected to mention it yesterday (too busy ranting about road rage), I laced up those figure skates once again last night. And although I'm feeling a tad more "balanced" this week, my feet were just killing me. Throbbing, in fact. Maybe my feet haven't grown, but the bunions sure have! The session went longer and I was thrilled to find out an old friend of mine is on the team. I'm still very shaky, but they were all still very encouraging. Hopefully this attribute will not wane in several weeks - I think it's going to take a while... After our session we headed to Boston Pizza for some refreshments - and DH treated us to some awesome "cow chips" and nachos. It was fun to be out with a group of women and I enjoyed catching up with my friend RW. So, I signed up to be a full-fledged team member! It's my personal challenge - to relearn some of the moves that came so naturally to me 30 some years ago.

Unfortunately though, I woke up this morning only to discover several nasty looking large blisters and scabs on my feet and ankles. Even on the tops of my toes and feet. I should probably look at having those skates stretched - maybe they could do the same for my summer clothes.

By the way, I have not yet managed to read even one more page of that book I started back in January. I tried, but fell asleep two nights in a row - and had to re-read the page I'd already previously started. Twice. But Lo and Behold, my friend MP gave me a book this morning. HER book! A short story written by her! And, signed by her too - with a very thoughtful note! I was thrilled.

Tonight I took J and his friend BP for our Wednesday night swim - we've been going on a pretty regular basis lately. I opted not to join them in the pool tonight - I wasn't sure if the chlorine would bother my feet and ankles - as they're pretty torn and shredded up from my new sport. I really didn't want to flaunt two legs that looked like they'd stepped into a garbarator. And, I was anxious to start my new book! I managed to read it all while they swam - it was very moving and in a few places it actually brought me to tears (which I blamed on the heavy chlorine smell of course). I really enjoyed it - it was a short story called "Love's Blessings" about a couple struggling with the challenges of infertility. I do hope she writes more - she really identifies with some of the feelings a couple going through this has. And, it was way more interesting than that book still sitting on my bed - bookmarked for weeks at page 152. Thanks MP! (aka MG Braden)

Road Rage

Most days I love my commute to work. I have my coffee and my radio on -- and I'm all ready to map out the most strategic route in - depending on the traffic report. If I can, I obviously like to avoid any noted accidents and areas of congestion all together. On average, it usually takes me just under an hour to get to work (and about the same going home). That's two hours a day where I can listen to tunes or talk shows. Unwind. Get some time alone. Where I can plot my day at work going in, and menu-plan, etc. on the trip home.

But what was with today? At almost any given moment I had some angry, aggressive, hot-under-the collar speedster practically driving in my trunk. I am definately not a slow-poke - in fact, I myself had been a bit of a lead-foot on the open road in my youth. I loved driving full-out on those open interstate highways (I actually get this from my mother!). I've even been known to still pass the odd person (or tractor) myself when it's safe to do. But I always attempt to do it safely and never on someone's tail. I too get frustrated if someone is driving below the speed limit.

So today, while I was travelling exactly the same speed as the 500 or so cars before (and beside) me, I had several Mr./Ms. Impatient's just riding my bumper (both to and from work). What do they expect me (and whoever else they were behind) to do? If we speed up, we're going to be tailgaiting or rear-ending the next guy too. So what good would that do? Rushing might get this maniac wherever he's going a whole 2 minutes ahead of me - but the impending "accident" could get him/her killed.

I guess my real frustration isn't in someone just wanting to pass me -- I have no problem with that if it's clear to move ahead once they've done so. I always stay to the right and try to move over to let faster vehicles pass me when I'm driving up country - I acknowledge the fact that my little diesel isn't the peppiest roadster out there - and I prefer to drive extra cautiously on roads I don't know so well. I once hit a large doe that just jumped out in front of us from nowhere - with my son and my neice in the car (J thought I'd hit a kangaroo). It happened so fast - I remember the split-second choice I had to make: swerve and either drive into the oncoming Semi (left) or the steep embankment (right) or deer (straight ahead). I can't imagine how we'd have fared if I'd been driving too fast! Anyway, I just don't see the point in tailgaiting someone for 20 minutes and/or weaving in and out of densely congested lanes during rush hour.

Also, when I'm stopped on an incline, why does the vehicle behind me always seem to ride my bumper? I drive a car with a standard transmission (ie: clutch), and it can roll back a tad when starting forward. And it can roll back a heck of a lot more if you're new to driving a standard. Not so good for your new found bumper-buddy. Too close for comfort - a little space would be great!

Some days the aggression and hostility on the road really gets to me. Rarely is anyone polite on the road anymore. For example, how much behind will someone really be if they just let that one car in - rather than speed up and pretend they don't see it? Aren't they happy when the favor is returned? Or do they just plough on through. I know I've made some bone-headed mistakes while I'm driving too - but not deliberately. I try to drive safely, defensively, and courteously. I'm really thinking that Driver's Ed needs a whole course on manners - with some graphic examples of the consequences. Why do these drivers (often in big meaty trucks, huge gas guzzling SUV's, or revved up engines with big shiny mag wheels) think that they're invulnerable? Or more "important" than anyone else on our roads? Hasn't it ever dawned on them to just leave 10 minutes earlier if they have an appointment they can't be late for? Maybe I should just start waving and smiling at them like I know them. Is that a good idea? (Any other suggestions would be greatly appreciated!)

Blogoholic

I have now been accused of becoming a Blogoholic. Yes, I admit I've developed a new passion for this whole blogging thing - but it truly keeps me from mindlessly grazing in the kitchen before bed time. It also gives me an excuse not to pick up the book I'm attempting to read (which was started in Mexico back in January). I just can't seem to get through it. It's incredibly borrrrring but I keep hoping it's going to eventually pick up. I've even read several other books concurrently (feeling guilty about he first one, would you believe?). I feel bound/committed to pick this one back up again, knuckle down, persevere, try again. It's rather unfortunate that these kind of books just don't come with Cole's Notes or some other brief synopsis so I could be done with it once and for all....

My good friend LK came down from the interior with one of her three sons and her dad. She's been one of my closest friends since elementary school (now that's a few years)! It's always great to visit with her - and we hope to get up to her place for a visit sometime soon. She's also promised me that she will return for our (gulp) 30 year High School reunion this summer. I'm going to hold her to that! Anyway, they came out to watch some of J's baseball practice (L's dad and my dad had a nice visit too) - and then they came down for a brief tour of the new house (we'd left J with his dad & grandfather at practice). They'd left by the time J and the crew were home from baseball - and J was very upset he'd missed them. Lots of tears! You see, Auntie L and her great kids have always been so good with J - and this one (L's #2) is a promising 17 year old hockey player whom my son just adores.

Anyway, I'm going to cut it short tonight just to demonstrate my exceptional willpower. I'm curbing the urge to "blog on" - and maybe I'll even get another page further in that darn book.

Mother's Day

My M-O-T-H-E-R

"M" is for my Mom - & the memories we've shared over the years
"O" is for her Open door - she's always been there for us
"T" is for the Three daughters that she raised (and trained!)
"H" is for how Hectic it usually was when we were growing up (& often still is!)
"E" is for her Elegance - my mom is and always will be, a beautiful woman
"R" is for Remarkable and Rare - my mom has always been an amazing hostess and cook - and warmly welcomes all who enter her beautiful, yet casual, home.

A month or so ago, my friend RM asked my son when Mother's Day was. J just shrugged and said he wasn't sure. R told him that everyday is mother's day - and that everyday he should make his mom feel appreciated and special! That would be nice, I thought - but do I do that often enough for my own mother? My mom who is always there for us - and her grandchildren?

Most of the time my son does make me feel incredibly loved! I can certainly feel his affection - and he still openly and freely expresses it. And, not a day goes by that I do not feel so incredibly blessed that I am now finally a mom (even though rarely a day goes by where I don't feel totally exhausted from parenting and trying to work, commute, run errands, attend nightly activities, cook meals, make lunches, do laundry, and meet everyone's needs - at work and at home). But being this child's mother makes it worth every second!

My husband and I were married on Mother's Day 12 years ago tomorrow. We wanted to keep it a surprise for our parents so we'd invited both families over for a Mother's Day brunch. When they arrived, we told them that we were going to get married (a few mentioned that it was about time!). My dad then asked me when this wedding was going to take place - and R said "in about 10 minutes!" - and that we were just waiting for the minister to arrive. At that point I think my mom panicked and told me she was running home to change -- "I can't wear cotton to a wedding!" she'd exclaimed. Ran home she did, and when she returned, we were married that afternoon in the backyard.

But Mother's Day wasn't always easy for me - especially when it fell just after I'd miscarried - or when I was pregnant with J but experiencing some problems. Wondering if I'd ever have a little person call me "Mommy". But in the year 2000, at the age of 40, I finally celebrated my first Mother's Day with a healthy and beautiful baby boy.

I can't begin to tell anyone how much joy he has brought us - and how much our lives have changed with him in it. On the wall next to our computer is our wedding picture - even at 35 we looked so young and naive! Did parenthood create the onset of balding, bulging, and graying?

Being an older mom isn't without it's challenges. I've been asked by more than one person if I was the child's grandmother.... I cannot wear some of the trendy clothes these young moms are sporting without looking utterly ridiculous. I remember attending a children's event in Vancouver and I was the only mom without a tattoo, or nose or belly button ring! All of my long time friends have older children - young adults or teens. Tonight I found out that LB (my co-worker who is actually 3 months younger than myself) is going to be a grandmother later this year! These days I'm finding that many of my new friends - who have kids my child's age - are at least 10 to 15 years younger than me. Do I fit in? Most of the time, yes, for the most part. I have always had many friends who are older and younger than myself anyway. But it's funny when I look at all the younger moms though - there was no way I was ready to be a parent when I was their age -- or at least a good one. I was still figuring out a lot of things about myself and it's really only now (in my late 30's and 40's) that I've actually accepted who I am. I’m old enough to know that it is better to be older and possess wisdom, confidence and gray hair, than to be young, carefree, and making stupid choices - no matter how much better or younger I may have looked (or felt) back then. Knowing how I was at some of their ages, it really amazes me to see how some of these young moms just seem to have it all together - and so soon! To be truthful, I'm even a tad jealous in that they will likely live to see their future generations and watch them grow up. It also saddens me that my own parents and R's parents may not always be here continuing to be such an important part of our children's lives.

It was a very happy mother's day for me. I watched another exciting baseball game (although we lost to C's team), and I even had a few hours to myself while J went to see a movie with one of his buddy's family. Tonight we went out for an awesome chicken dinner at my mother's. But tonight I feel sadness too - knowing that some of my friends are having a very difficult time today. Three friends have recently lost their mothers since the last mother's day - including D whose young mom just passed away this month. Other friends are going through tough family times and no longer have close relationships with their kids. Another friend lost his wife two years ago when his children were only aged 5, and 10 months old. And I recognize the pain all my friends who have been unable to have children - or who have lost children - feel. Even to this day, I still do not like "parents of toddlers or young children" gatherings where they discuss childbirth, baby wipes, and potty training. And I will never ask a woman if she's going to start a family - or have another baby. Even though I'm a mother today, the hurt and raw emotions can still creep up and take over.

Today we celebrate Mother's day - and take this as an opportunity to honor our moms and the qualities and personalities they have -- or had, and how they've influenced and impacted us to be who we are today. I am thankful for both my mother and my mother-in-law - who both have always been there and have never hesitated to help us when we needed it. And I can only hope and pray my own son will choose have the same relationship with us as we have had with our parents when he grows older too! Happy Mother's Day "Nona" and "Grandma"!

I wish all of you a very happy Mother's Day! L

More tears, more bears.....

Tonight I attended a memorial service for the mother of one of my "younger" friends Deanna who was also a former co-worker. I had called D yesterday as she had been on my mind and thought I'd catch up with her - I had absolutely no idea her mom had passed away. I was (and still am) completely in shock. I didn't even know she'd been sick. She was barely 54 years old and had been diagnosed with cancer in October. The service was very moving and D's younger brother Guyle (who I've also worked with) did a fantastic job relaying funny stories of their growing up and their mom Sande's life. I also met and sat with a woman who, as it turns out, is the mother of someone else I work with -- in fact, I was trying on sunglasses a half hour prior to the service in one of our Pro Shops and this woman's son had actually picked out the pair I ended up buying. "Easily ten years off your age!", he'd said. SOLD! Anyway, it was an emotional night - my friend's mom always had always seemed so young - at first some of us had thought she was D's big sister! It breaks my heart so see another family suffering so much grief in the loss of a close parent. D told me yesterday that at this exact same time last year they'd all been sitting around planning her sister's wedding; today they were sitting around - without their mom - planning her funeral. She said her mom was so looking forward to being a grandma some day.

Anyway, these memorials really make me appreciate how lucky I am to have such a close relationship with my parents. My son is also so very blessed - he has both sets of grandparents -- and one set of them (my parents) live on the neighbouring 2 acres. He spends a lot of time with them, and their home is a "home away from home" for J and his cousin M. I only had one grandparent - of whom I have very fond memories - but she lived in Kansas and passed away when I was close to 30.

My mom "Nona" took J for a walk tonight with the dogs. This is the second time in a week they've seen these bears - this time they were in the densely treed area in the field just next to ours. So they decided to take a "wider" route home. Our English Setter (definately not the brightest dog we've ever owned), decided to chase after the bears - with her full-out high pitched bark. My mom thought that might be the end of her, but the bears just ran away from her. So, I've got an elderly Mouse-huntin' toothless cat, a bear-huntin' pointing & barking bird-dog, and a table-scrap huntin', fartin', and snoring bulldog. What a clan! But they're all part of the family!

A Tribute to a Friend

"On April 19th, 2007, this world lost a most beautiful, wonderful man. I myself feel as though I've lost my favorite Uncle.

I met Mr. Erik Madsen almost 30 years ago in 1977 – shortly after I met my good friend Susan, his eldest daughter, at S.F.U. While my friendship with Susan quickly grew, so did my relationship with her family. I’ll never forget how touched I was when I first met him – how he had such a playfully impish smile, a hearty laugh, and a marvelous twinkle in his eyes. He was deeply in love with his family and welcomed me as if I was almost one of them – and maybe I actually could have been had I not failed so miserably on the pickled herring test at one of those famous family Danish dinners!

I have numerous fond memories of those many Whistler nights where I even had my “own” bed. I remember how on one occasion we had been stranded up there for days when the bridge and highway washed away. And how I wished they'd taken even just a few more days to fix it. How, during this time, we’d concocted special drinks and played games by the hour -- especially Charades and Clue. I still remember how Mr Madsen always chose the red man (or “Crimson” – as he referred to it!). Those are some of my best memories!

Susan’s dad was always famous for giving us pet names – I was referred to as "Haney" first - and then "Kansas City" – and well, that one just kind of stuck. He was an extremely generous man – and to me – the trip to Maui -- where I remember opening the fridge to find it fully stocked with some of my most favorite things! And I remember that on special birthdays, how Mr. and Mrs. Madsen had sent me such beautiful bouquets of flowers. But mostly it was his gift of laughter, his love for his family and friends, his warmth, his sense of humor, and his unique understanding and "twists" on things that made me grow to love him too.

I was fortunate to see Susan’s dad a few times over the past few months while he was in the hospital – and what really struck me, was how much he still just lit up when I saw him. He still had that same twinkle in his eye – and, although he could no longer speak, he still managed to successfully razz Susan, Karen and I! He was always just so full of beans!

Today we are here to celebrate Erik Madsen’s life – and I am so blessed to have been a part of it. I also know how much he impacted all of our lives - his friends and his family - and how much love and respect Susan has always had for her dad. And while he will be so deeply missed by so many of us, he will always live in our hearts. I can still see his eyes – twinkling and winking at us! Skal!"

(this was my speech - which may have varied slightly while I was up there)

The memorial for Erik Madsen was held today - it was a beautiful (and packed) service flooded with many many affectionate, humorous stories and anecdotes about Erik -- about how loving, kind, fun, magnetic, and loyal he always was. His eldest daughter Susan is one of my closest friends - we have shared so many things over the years. While we are different in many ways (ie: she is an extremely talented artist), we have many things in common too. We're both "abbreviated" with respect to our stature (under 5'2), we both had skipped a grade in school, we both love to travel and read (although she's far surpassed me in her many exotic travel adventures and book reading by now), and we both have the greatest Dads who have played very important roles in our lives!

Her dad's beautifully written obituary reads:

MADSEN _ Erik, born October 9, 1926. Passed away peacefully at home on April 19, 2007 with his family at his side. Erik will be deeply missed by his wife Kirsten, children Susan (Stephen), Peter (Jennifer), Karen (Randy) and grandchildren Kaleena, Erik, Sabrina and Nicholas. He is survived by his sister Inge (Kurt) and brother Poul (Inger). Erik was born in Copenhagen Denmark and grew up in a small town on the Danish island of Fyn. His family was in the lumber business in Denmark and he had dreams of pursuing this profession in Canada. Erik and the love of his life Kirsten married in 1952 and immigrated to Canada shortly afterwards, arriving in BC with $12.50 in their pockets. Erik worked a variety of jobs before beginning his own lumber re-manufacturing business in 1965, which has continued to flourish over the years. He will be remembered as a respected boss, and a smart and fair businessman with a remarkable talent for numbers. Erik and Kirsten found paradise on the island of Maui where they spent much of their time. In between Erik worked on his elaborate model train set-up. He loved golfing, skiing, watching any sport on TV, parties, a good laugh and a good scotch. Erik was a big-hearted, generous person with an abundant passion for life. He "came in with his wooden shoes on" - there was no phoniness about him. And "you betcha" he will be greatly missed and mourned by his family and friends. Special thanks to Dr. Mukheibir and the home care nurses. The family wishes to extend an invitation to all who knew Erik to join in a Celebration of Life and a "Skal" to him at Hazelmere Golf Club, 18150 8th Ave., Surrey on Wednesday, May 9 at 12 noon. It was an afternoon full of laughter, tears, and sharing - a wonderful goodbye party for a great and loved man who remains forever in our hearts!

No "Blades of Glory"

Tonight I really stepped out of my cozy little comfort zone and attempted something I hadn't done in 32 years. I went out to practice with a local Synchronized (precision) skating team. I had never done this type of skating before, but I did figure skate until I was 15. And, from 1979 - 1981 (while attending University), I actually taught a Can-Skate type program through a local municipality. But even that was well over 25 years ago. So, don't ever let anyone tell you that skating's like riding a bicycle - it's not! I could barely stop, let alone do a 3-turn, mohawk (or skate backwards!). Keep in mind, the emphasis here is supposed to be on team work, correct formations, style, and performing very dangerous manoevres (ie: cross-overs) with complete accuracy in unison with a dozen other well-practiced skaters. I don't know if grasping on to another human body on both sides was a good thing or bad thing - maybe they were holding me up, but if I went down, we were all going down! I was very impressed with how encouraging and patient they all were with me though - my son would have thought it was pretty humorous, to say the least (let's just say we won't need to rent the new Will Ferrell comedy flick). Anyway, it was fun, and I can only improve (if I don't break my neck or leg in the process). And, judging by how my legs feel, I may not have to give up much chocolate after all!

Chocolate Craving

"There is more to life than chocolate, but not right now"

I know I have a problem when my friends and co-workers faithfully check in on me around 2:00 p.m. each day to see how much chocolate I've consumed. One of the Managers gauges my stress level by the rapid depletion of the chocolate bar supply under the sink. I actually have them all fooled I'm sure, as I also have other sources in the building (thanks G!). Then there's L & L's candy dish (of which I've made a complete dinner out of on my late nights)..... My most dedicated assistant LB, has been known to hide some of my own personal stash from me when she perceives that I am in a stressful period at work. What can I say? I need to curb it - obviously! It is particularly difficult as I've recently read new supportive studies of chocolate consumption and its newly discovered health benefits. One woman actually lives on chocolate:

http://chocolate.org/choclove/chocdiet.html

Quite frankly, this is too much. I just need my daily "fix", usually in the afternoon. This has been going on for years - but this is the first year I've really started to encounter the middle age spread. My family and friends have tried to assure me that this is what the onset of menopause can do - but I know better. I cannot button up/pull up the clothes I wore last summer. So, if we are going to have a summer this year, I really need to cut back, take control, ignore my "enablers", show some willpower.... At least before LD and PC perform their threatened "intervention".

Persuasion

persuade: One entry found for persuade (Merriam-Webster).

Entry Word: persuade

Function: verb

Text: to cause (someone) to agree with a belief or course of action by using arguments or earnest request


"She's attempting to persuade her friends to start a Blog."

Synonyms: argue, convince, get, induce, move, prevail (on or upon), satisfy, talk (into), win (over)

Related Words: cajole, coax, exhort, urge; lead on, seduce, snow, tempt; incline, influence, move, prompt, sell, sway; attract, bring, draw, entice, interest; chew over, converse, debate, discuss, dispute, hash (over), moot; reason (with)

* * * * * *

I really think that if I can do the "hip" and "cool" thing and "Blog", some of my friends should too!

Speaking of hip and cool - I never have particually cared if I was really hip or cool. I actually care even less now, perhaps that is partially because I have grown older.



It really hit me today when I took my son and his friend to the local fair. I clearly remember how much I used to love all the rides - the thrill of going fast and being tossed around and upside down -- and how it no longer appeals to me. At all. Is it entirely old age? I'm not sure. Anyway, now my biggest thrill is just watching their smiles! And speaking of persuasion - neither one of these boys could persuade me to ride that Scrambler! Or anything else!

Game Over

Golf season has officially begun.

Our Vancouver Canucks lost to the Mighty Lucky Ducks last night in OT. Down come our white window towels and other assorted "loyal fan" paraphernalia. R is freshly shorn -- he has shaved off his annual play-off facial growth (yippee!). Maybe next year, eh?! Although disappointed, J was quick to point out that he remained a true blue fan of the Vancouver Giants - and dressed accordingly for school today! Our focus and allegiance has quickly shifted from the Stanley Cup to the Memorial Cup. In my opinion, this has always been far more attainable anyway (and they won tonight in Medicine Hat!). J went to quite a few Giants games this year (we went to some as well), and they were great (and affordable!).

Garet Hunt:

Unfortunately, J's very favorite player Garet Hunt (pictured) was badly injured back in early February (we were there that night) and is still on his road to recovery with a fractured leg. I think these enthusiastic young players are so much fun to watch. Way to go Giants!

Vancouver Canucks - "Do" or "Die"

Tonight will tell

Will it be more of this?

or this?